How to shop for your mother of the bride or groom outfit when you’re going through the menopause

October is Menopause Awareness Month so we’re taking time to address some of the very real concerns mums of the bride or groom have when they’re just not feeling themselves.

Wedding dress shopping is usually a whirl of excitement when you’re a 20 or 30-something bride.

But what happens when your son or daughter’s big day coincides with you going through the menopause and you’re feeling far from amazing as you look for an outfit you know you’re going to be centre of attention in?

“Comfort is key,” explains Christina of Glasgow boutique Mia Bella.

“Some mums cope better than others. Some women will be very emotional with their babies getting married.”

Christina sees menopausal mums come through her doors all the time and it informs so many of her choices in the boutique.

“It’s so prevalent in what we do and I really take that into account when I’m picking dresses and stock for the coming season,” she says.

Many of her fabric choices and the silhouettes she chooses are influenced with menopausal women in mind.

When it comes to MOBs and MOGs who are dealing with their body temperature being up the left, she doesn’t want them to feel like they’re drowning in fabric.

Instead, she can suggest outfits in lighter, more breathable materials.

“Chiffon is the best option,” she says. “A full chiffon A-line is always very good.

“If it’s a mum who wants a shift dress or a two-piece we love the shift with a full chiffon waterfall coat.

“Illusion tops and sleeves are also good with a bodice and then just a lighter mesh on top.”

And Mikado silk is always a good natural option.

Changing trends

The way couples choose to marry now can play to the advantage of menopausal mums.

Holding a ceremony and reception in the same venue eliminates any concerns for dressing for different environments or having to move indoors from the cold.

“Nine out of 10 weddings are now in one place so they don’t really need to consider if they’re going to be too cold outside, too hot going inside,” says Christina.

The need for extra layers is therefore ruled out, allowing MOBs and MOGs to choose one amazing looking outfit that will do them all day.

And there’s never been so much choice for mums, allowing them to find something they will not just look but also feel fantastic in.

First things first

Before you even begin to look at shapes and styles however, Christina says it’s a good idea to do some groundwork.

“Scope out where you’re going to go,” she advises.

“I’ve had mums that have had terrible experiences in other shops that put them in a spiral of panic.

“Read reviews or go for a visit before the appointment.”

Perhaps most important though is to feel that you can say if you’re not comfortable during your appointment.

“Don’t feel you can’t,” says Christina. “[The menopause] is not the lurgy, it’s natural.

“The environment for mums to go try things on should be breezy.

“Don’t feel scared to say, ‘I’m having a hot flush’ and we will stick on a fan.”

Knowing their clientele, Mia Bella is equipped with fans that can be placed in the dressing room if the mum’s temperature is soaring.

They even have cute mini fans saying ‘Become a fan of Mia Bella’ to hand out to sisters or friends who are on hand for moral support and also feeling the heat.

A good foundation

Try to avoid the temptation to wear your special sucky-in pants for this shopping trip as they are not your best friends while you’re going through the menopause.

“Women feel like they are melting in shapewear,” Christina says.

“I would probably rule against it apart from the dress with the straps that sits under the bra.

“Everything else doesn’t work for the menopause.”

Finally try to embrace this experience and have fun. Know what to expect and be honest about how you’re feeling.

That way you’re more likely to find that special MOB or MOG outfit that’ll make you feel amazing on the day.

Have you found your mother of the bride or groom outfit yet?

Check out our suppliers pages for inspiration